Andy’s Revenge

Posted May 13, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Science, Uncategorized

In a fantastic and interesting twist to the post I just finished writing, Andromeda has decided he still wants to be the big dog, keep eating that pizza and riding shotgun. Now according to Space.com (and I think they’d be someone to trust here), it is said that in 2 billion years when our two galaxies make a close pass, Andromeda, may STEAL the solar system in which we currently exist. Yeah, just take it like it’s his. Big bro has a 12% chance of snacthing our system from this nice little place we’ve so comfortably settled into (I told you he was a dick). Now in 5 Billion years we may then, actually merge in some sorta weird, galactic siamese twin, Benjamin Button, scenario thingee. Now the scientist that has calculated all this does say take it with a grain of salt, because we don’t really have any idea what truly will happen, we’re just going by scientific, computational and astronomic models, which aren’t fully readable, no matter what you believe, but still, we, The Milky Way, puffed up our chest, said “Test me now Andromeda” and Andy cold said “Yeah, I just might take that Solar System you humans hold so dear and you won’t do anything about that.”, and we flinched. Then he threatened to make all our shit, his shit too, but he better watch out for our Sun shortly afterwards (somebody’s gonna blow up!!!), but for a solid response, I respectfully say,”Touché, Andromeda, Touché”.

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Bigger, Stronger, Galaxy…er

Posted May 13, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Guess Who's Back?, Science

Hey look! I’m back and I’m still nerdy and this is like a 3-4 month old story. But I don’t care fool, cause I’m is me!

When siblings fight, it’s usually the sibling with the size advantage that wins, which is logical because they have more weight, power, and experience. But when the younger sibling hits his growth spurt and the sibs sizes average out, then the fight becomes a fairer fight. For eons the Andromeda galaxy has been lording over us like a big brother, all cocky and whatnot, threatening to kick our ass and take the last slice of pizza and always riding in the front seat of the car (Andromeda doesn’t even call shotgun, he just sits up front, WTF!). Well guess what Andy, we’s all growed up now sucka. Scientists have now found that our galaxy, The Milky Way, is ~50% larger than we had originally thought it, making our galaxy around the same size as our closest neighbor Andromeda, which from the first comparisons, we’d thought was just dwarfing us, in fact we are now the two biggest systems of the Local Group of galaxies (which sounds like a workers union). Astronomers discovered this information by noticing that when they 3D mapped the stars, using a process I’m not really gonna go into the many details, about new stars and radio telescopes and such, but yeah, we as a galaxy are now bigger, bitch and Andromeda is quaking because equivalently we’ve gone from being a 5’5″ pipsqueek to a 6’3″ guy who packed on some beef and now beats up bullies at the beach. We’ve “grown” in both breadth and mass (bigger and heavier) and I think we’re gonna get a little more respect in our star quadrant and this is just the begining of the true mapping of our galactic structure. But to pour salt into a sore wound, this makes Pluto even more of a non-planet (Pluto, you’re such a pussy, I fuckin hate you. Die you Trans-Neptunian abomination, you go die right now ).

Somebody in this approximation of an image has his puberty and been working out at the gym.

Somebody in this approximation of an image has hit puberty and has been working out at the gym. Do you see them arms?

Now the bad news. The speed and recalculated size of the Milky Way increases the probability and shortens the timelime of a likely smash into another nearby galaxy (think Andromeda), which, you gotta trust me, is NOT going to be pretty, especially if you’re anywhere within the vicinity of the two objects. So now the race is on in the, “how will our beautiful solar home be unimaginably destroyed” stakes? The contestants are: our wonderful Sun going hyper and imploding and throwing our solar system into every which direction possible OR our whole galaxy smashing into another galaxy and crashing together at massive speeds; which of these unimaginably destructive, amazingly colossal, unfathomably cataclysmic and violent endgames will destroy our little neck of the universal woods and reduce it to powder first? The supernova is getting 4-1 odds, since it’s got about 5 billion year timeline, while the galacto-smash is in the 1-2B neighborhood.  So everyone place your bets and give me the money now and I’ll pay back the winners once the results are in and no bet is too big (what? it sounds totally fair to me), hey, I’ll even give you a half price discount on the juice, scouts honor (disclaimer: Omar is not and was never once a Boy Scout or a scout of any other kind, he did think the Biker Scouts, were cool. The closest he ever came to scouting was learning to tie knots from a scout master who visited the kids at the Children’s Hospital in Norfolk, VA while in the playroom, during which, he still would rather have played the Donkey Kong machine, especially since he has no remembrance at all of how to tie said knots).

Pl.A.List: What’s Crackin’

Posted April 23, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Music, Nostalgia, Pl.A.List

Since I got home from “vacation” last week, I’ve been doing some experimental dabbling in the Breakfast Sandwich department and anyone who’s followed me on Facebook would confirm and probably worry about my new obsession w/ my egg rings and the outstanding concoctions they doth spring forth. So for today’s Pl.A.List, to stay in line w/ my obsession of the moment, I’m gonna use the egg as a metaphor (because I feel the need to be more pretentious), while also giving you a little piece of myself. So how do I relate an egg, myself, and a group of songs that, with a build up like this, better make a good point? Well, it goes like this; back in the early 90’s, when it came to music, I was pretty much devoted to Hip Hop, Hip Hop and Hip Hop, it enveloped my whole makeup. I was Hip Hop, NY/NJ Hip Hop to be exact. I did dabble in a little bit of pop music, but it’s pop music, which means everyone’s heard it and it’s kinda impossible to hate an entire genre with absolutely no exceptions, and even that can mostly be attributed to my best friend, Doug, who was basically 5’11”, 150lbs of tightly packed, mainstream culture. To know Doug, is to know every song in the Billboard top 40 by heart, which is fine, to each his own and it did give me at least some variety in my musical outlook. So, there was a teenage Omar, completely encased in a shell surrounded only by Hip Hop Culture and some Pop music and other music types, especially Rock genres, were almost an affront to my tastes and a severe betrayal of my allegiance (Teenage intolerance, it’s Faaantastic!). But there would be 3 significant acts that helped me break out and see the light, turning me from an amorphous blob encased in a cell to a guy who broke out and was allowed to spread myself wider and accept new flavors and spices, totally new and exotic ingredients, creating a better, more diverse me  (are you seeing the egg metaphor, cause I’m laying it out there pretty thick. It’s like I’m trying to win the “Beating a Dead Horse award” in the category of ‘Metaphors-We Get It Already!’).

Red Hot Chili Peppers-Give it Away

When this song came out on MTV, I had a foreign feeling; I kinda liked it. I didn’t admit it, but when it came on, I didn’t do the usual and immediately ignore it or change the channel, I would linger and it was in heavy rotation, so every time, I’d linger a little longer before I changed the channel, kinda lying to myself about how much I didn’t like it. During this period in time, a guy in my class, named Justin Case (which is both, an interesting name AND sort of a dick move by his parents, because you know kids jumped on the that name once they figured out the wordplay within.), anyway, Justin and I were in the same row in class and he didn’t really know rap and I didn’t really know rock and in sort of diplomatic conversations, I let him know I kinda liked Give it Away, he said he liked Public Enemy (the ‘Bring the Noize’ remix w/ Anthrax, specifically) and in the pseudo-music UN delegation that Justin and I had set up in the back corner of 6th period, we had a cultural exchange, he let me borrow Blood Sugar Sex Magik and he borrowed ‘Apocalypse ’91 : The Enemy Strikes Black’ and we both liked the albums we borrowed. I think that RHCP album was probably THE best album anyone could’ve given to me at that time to open me up. It was funk heavy a la’ George Clinton and it was produced by Rick Ruben, whom I still associated heavily with early Def Jam; License to Ill, LL Cool J-Radio, etc. So that album would be step one to a whole new me. A more honest me, a guy who could speak on the history of Hip Hop, in depth, from pretty much top to bottom and still dig on some Ozzy. Though at that point in time, I would admit nothing more than the fact that I kinda liked the Chili Peppers because “they were kinda rap”.

Alice in Chains-No Excuses

The next song worked itself nicely into my progression. It came outta nowhere, well out of nowhere as far as I knew, considering that Jar of Flies was not their first album or first success, but it/they were new to me. What helped here is that ‘No Excuses’ wasn’t hardcore, it wasn’t ‘metal’ heavy, it’s almost a retro folk song, even the guitar solo has a classic rock feel and all of that together worked for me, because even though I didn’t listen to pretty much any other kinda rock, I still had an appreciation for that which came before me and ‘No Excuses’ was light enough, that I could excuse it and it got me to the next step of breaking the shell, by now, the cracks in the shell are significant you can tell that it wouldn’t be too much longer before the whole thing breaks open and I just come oozing out into the pan.

Tool-Sober

This one still shocks me. There is no way I would’ve ever guessed that the me, the pre “Open-Omar” me, would’ve even liked this song and I surely wouldn’t have guessed that this would be the track that basically said, “Stop Bullshitting, stop hating genres and appreciate whatever music it is for the music that it is. Sober was wild, first there’s the video, which is the main reason that I ever stopped to listen to the song in the first place. If its’ 1993-94 and this claymation nightmare shows up on your screen, you’re probably gonna stop and wonder which of Satan’s minions created this monster (and then Satan will tell you it’s a false positive and that he’s gonna take Tool to court for trademark infringement), but you will watch. Then there’s Maynard James Keenan, he has an amazing voice. It’s not so much that it’s “beautiful” but the guy has amazing control and vocal mastery to do a lot of things some the best singers couldn’t dream of. When Maynard wants to stick the note, he’s gonna stick the note. Then there’s the double guitar hits of the song and when it all comes together, it was just the thing I needed to come out of my shell and start looking around the musical landscape. I can still love my De La Soul and A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang, PE, whatever. I was the only one holding me back and these 3 incidents made me realize that. It is not an affront to my values to have a wider range of tastes, in fact, it enhances my appreciation of nuances that I never knew existed. Basically it growed me up a bit and I’m better and happier and mostly, more well rounded for it.

So that’s it, a little autobiographical Pl.A.List, a little metaphor and a little story on how it all began, the catalyst to me opening my horizons and from this, I now get down with some of my newer favorite groups, SoundGarden, The Who, The Stones, and Radiohead (oh beautiful Radiohead), even Jimi Hendrix, groups I may have never dared to try if it hadn’t been for those first few. I opened myself up to new flavors to become the man I am now, The Incredible Edible A.

ps: gotta thank Mark from WordPress for helping me out and fixing the error on the website quickly after I emailed them to get me up and running in mere hours as opposed to days, which a lot of free services will sometimes do. Now I’m back online, ready to torture the world w/ my opinions and prose.

Vindication

Posted March 14, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Citizenedness, PSA, Rant

I wrote a little post a few days ago asking if Rihanna’s Cover Girl ad campaign should be pulled because of her current situation and when I wrote it, I felt it was a valid question, but still, felt kinda sketchy about putting it out there, but, being the unqualified pseudo-journalist I am, I decided I’d let it go, sometimes you gotta ask the tough questions, sometimes you gotta be the bad guy. Now, I’m not one to say I told you so, but…I told you so. Apparently since I’d made the post, other, more reputable (depending on what you consider reputable), outlets have also asked the question. It seems that Harris Polls have asked on behalf of Revlon, disguised as research from Cover Girl (convoluted? absolutely) and then the bastion of integrity, TMZ, have asked the question as well, almost dead copying my poll, but having way more participants, I know it’s hard to beat 1 participant (play the lonely violin for me), but they did have hundreds to thousands of votes and the result was 2 to 1 ratio in favor of her campaign getting pulled, of course, I don’t know how representative the sampling pool was in relation to actual real world demographics, but I have to think that the people who’d vote on TMZ are fairly true to the demographic of the ad campaign. So there you go and with that, I’m gonna go wait by the mail and if someone sends me official press credentials, I won’t specify who, I promise to not apply to the census bureau anytime soon, cause if they went by the results and replies I got from my blog, the population of the USA would be like 36 people, all residing in Southern California at one point in their lives. Summary & Epilogue: Me=Right, Rihanna=sacrificial lamb, but she kinda put herself there, even if it isn’t completely her fault, there is a pathology there. Now, I’m gonna jump up and dance around my bed with my hands over my head like Rocky at the top of the steps while playing the song “Umbrella”, then I’m gonna call my nurse for massive amounts of narcotics, because if I actually did get up and dance, it would suuuuuck and hurt a lot right now. Syracuse and San Diego State both play semifinal matches tonight, Syracuse is a lock for the tourney, they’re only playing for seeding, it’s likely that they’re a 4 seed right now, win or lose, but if they put up a good run they could probably get a good 3 spot or a 4 in the most advantageous region for them possible. Either way, tonight will be a hard game, they played 6 overtime periods last night against a legitimate NCAA 1 seed and though they’re a higher seed than the team they’re ,W. Virginia, they’re gonna be worn and it will take a lot of heart to pull out a win tonight. As for San Diego State; SDSU played an amazing game last night, probably their best of the season, Steve Fisher is really good at motivating his guys during MW tourney week, but last night’s game, put SDSU on the bubble, which means, it’s about 50/50 that they’ll get in the tournament with an at large bid right now, a win tonight against BYU would pretty much be a golden ticket and it’d make me little girl getting a Barbie for Christmas happy, which is really happy…I would guess, what are you implying? What did you hear? Have you been talking to my sister? Anyway, SDSU deserves a trip back to the tourney, they deserve a first round win too. They weren’t supposed to have the run they had this season and few faithful believed, but here they are, staring into the eyes of opportunity, I hope they don’t blink. Get up State.

Pl.A.list Brett and Jemaine

Posted March 11, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Drillavision, Entertainment, Pl.A.List, Uncategorized, Video

Who the fuck doesn’t like ‘Flight of the Conchords’? The awesomest Kiwis on TV are smart, funny and very, very talented. On stage and on their HBO show they nail the innocent and gullible, starving artist personas, but you simply can’t play those roles that well without knowing exactly what you’re doing. Knowing yourselves inside out and having flawless technique and execution and they execute flawlessly all the time. If you wanna know how good they are, listen to their songs beyond the jokes. The songs are fun and funny, but the thing that makes them more than cheap novelty or gimmick is the fact that they know their shit musically. Think of all the different genres they’ve run through in the two seasons of the show alone, then think about how well they’ve nailed each and every style; 60’s lite euro pop, 50’s lounge, 80’s synth, ska, Bowie (I think I just made David Bowie a genre. Hey, why not?), even 60-70’s cartoon fare. It’s damn impressive and way better than someone like Stephen Lynch. So, Ladies and Gentlemen,  here’s a couple vids from New Zealand’s 4th most popular comedy folk duo. These aren’t brand new or bleeding edge finds, they aren’t obscure or subterranean, but they are good and fun and once you’ve got that, do we really need anything more? I think not.

ps: I’m away from home on “vacation” so I’m embedding the videos blind via url code alone (I couldn’t see the vids even if they were there). The “hotel” has strict site blocker software and one of those blocks is youtube (bandwidth), so if the videos are broken, let me know and I’ll try to fix it. Thx (the mgmt)

Disturbia

Posted March 7, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Polls, PSA

I was watching the debut of Jimmy Fallon’s stint on late night, where he has taken over for Conan O’Brien, who is taking over for Jay Leno and all of the words in this sentence are superfluous because this post has nothing to do w/ any of the people I’ve mentioned so far. In the commercial break, a makeup commercial featuring the singer Rihanna aired and a weird philosophical question passed through my mind, but first some backstory to bring everyone up to speed. Rihanna is a young, beautiful, massively successful and talented singer, probably best known for the song “umbrella”-ella-ella ay-ay-ay, under my umbrella-ella-ella (sorry, got caught up), she’s also known for songs like “Pon de Replay” and “Disturbia”. I don’t have any of her stuff and don’t know the words, but I do realize she’s a good, strong pop singer, with 5 Billboard #1 singles on their Hot 100 charts and another that peaked at #2. Her early career is reminiscent of the success of a young Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston (which, now that I think about it, is eerie because both them chicks are batshit, tin foil cap type crazy). Rihanna, age 21, was/is dating Chris Brown, age 20, equally talented, not quite as successful, but in the ballpark. The two had been dating about a year and were kinda like the new era music dynasty

This is not love

This is not love

couple and both were scheduled to perform at this year’s Grammy Awards, but right before the show they both pulled out abruptly. Turns out that Chris Brown allegedly whooped the shit out Rihanna, I mean just took her to town. This poor girl looks like someone beat her for hours, it’s disturbing. So Rihanna checks into a hospital and Chris Brown turns himself into the police on Grammy night. Today, it’s 2 – 3 weeks later and the word is that the two are back together or at the very least trying to work things out in cohabitation @ Diddy’s house in Miami. Now, the question that I had was “Should the TV ads that she did be pulled from the air?” First, let me say this with all the clarity I can muster; Rihanna is a victim and she has done nothing wrong, nothing, and doesn’t deserve any negative retribution for her actions. I do not think that Rihanna should be forbidden to reconcile w/ Brown. She is a grown woman, probably a woman in love and it is not up to me to tell her how to live her life. She has every right to try to work things out with whomever she likes, even the guy who beat her ass. But, Chris Brown faces heavy assault charges, he’s out on bail and there is no word of counseling yet at all and they’re together right now, so soon after the event. So I wonder if they should stop showing her ads so they don’t perpetuate possible tragedies towards other people. Like I said, Rihanna can make her own choices and I don’t think she should be punished for being a victim, but if the companies are promoting her, they’re also kinda saying that it’s cool to stay w/ your abusive mate. I know the logic is kinda cloudy, but it is true. I read an article on ESPN the other day talking about role models and the lesson to be learned within broke down as; While a lot of famous people say, “I’m not a role model”, the truth is, you don’t get to choose. You don’t get to truly make or take away the views of the people who hold you to such a standard and therein lies the problem. While Rihanna has done nothing wrong, the situation and ramifications are bigger than her or anything she gets to decide now. The concept of martyrdom is sometimes necessary, sometimes the virgin needs to be sacrificed to please the gods, sparing the remaining townspeople. It wouldn’t be a long shot to imagine that a  battering man (or woman) could point to Rihanna’s case as proof positive that the wife and/or kids they’re abusing shouldn’t go anywhere to get away from the situation they’re in, they should stay right there in that household and “work it out”, which really translates to: be subordinate and just take your beatings in stride. So it doesn’t help the case for motivating the battered to get out of the household, get to protected safety, because any day longer could end in an act of extreme horror. I’m sure that Rihanna isn’t intending to send that signal, but it is being broadcast by the two being together again, especially so soon. Truth is, I don’t even know if they should or shouldn’t pull her ad campaign, I’m just asking if it’s the right thing to do, maybe I’m asking, is my question even valid? What is the right thing to do? It’s even possible that the two things don’t correlate at all, but in my mind they do and that’s why I decided to ask. It would kill me if, say, my nieces were hurt because nobody thought about the ramifications of an unjust, yet correctable unintended consequence in a case like this.

Hip to Be Square

Posted March 4, 2009 by adrilla
Categories: Awesome, Nerdtastic, Random

Did you feel mathy yesterday? No? Are you sure? Because yesterday was Square Root day, March 3rd, 2009. What is Square Root Day and how does it work? You take the number corresponding to the day and month, if both are identical numbers, then you multiply them to get your square number, if the square number equals the last two digits of the year (3×3=09) then there you have it, Square Root Day.  If you are reading this blog post today (march 4, 09), then I’m pretty sure you experienced Root Day 2009 (since most of the babies born in the last 24 hours can’t use the internet that well.)

Here are all the Square Root dates for this century.

  • Jan 1, 2001
  • Feb 2, 2004
  • March 3, 2009
  • April 4, 2016
  • May 5, 2025
  • June 6, 2036
  • July 7, 2049
  • August 8, 2056
  • September 9, 2081

The reason it ends at Sept. is because you don’t use the double digit months and days, you can only use the last two digits of the corresponding year according to preset parameters and double digit root numbers have only triple digit products. So sorry to Oct, Nov, and my birthday month December, no soup for you. Besides those months are purists, they had their heyday way way back. In fact, I was talking to my calendar just the other day and it said “Man, you should’ve been there on December 12, 144 AD, it was crazy. We partied at the Pantheon, there were Roman orgies and bitches everywhere and more wine than you can handle, that stiff Constantine wasn’t around yet, so we could let loose. Mars showed up and tried to start a fight, which is typical, Mars always starts fights. Leres and Janus guarded the door and the VIP section.  Jupiter was there, Neptune, Romy and Remus stopped by (bad table manners and all), but together we all had a ball. It’s really too bad you couldn’t have gone.” Then I beat my calendar’s ass for teasing me about the year 144AD and called his mother a cheap Casio. That calendar doesn’t fuck with me anymore. So anyway, I hope you had a good Square Root Day, only 2588 days until the next one (4/4/2016) and if that’s too long a wait, just remember that National Penis Humor Day happens every August 8, and if that isn’t more fun than a waterslide from outer space, I just don’t know what is.