Archive for the ‘Nerdtastic’ category

Nerdgasm: Lego Safe

July 4, 2009
The only safe strong enough to secure my Duplo blocks.

The only safe strong enough to secure my Duplo blocks.

I realize that should I proceed and build this, I will be nowhere in the neighborhood of Fort Knox level protection, but, as a guy who’s spent more than a couple bucks (possibly a couple thousand) and hours (possibly a couple krotillion) on Lego blocks and kits well into my adult life, I WANT THIS. I mean, it’s a damn Lego safe with working gears (not that Lego is foreign to complex working gear structures. I’ve hand built a few complex mechanisms while just freestyling builds -You should’ve seen the A-815 Battlehawk and the blueprints for the unbuilt A-822, both manufactured by the mysterious Drachius organization, James knows what I’m talking about. That plane was a monster. The Battlehawk had 4, Double-barreled, recoiling, pulse blasters, mounted on the underside of the airjet and a removable pilot’s pod-). So I love the idea of this safe and it does have a fair layer of protection, plus, it’s completely up Omar’s alley. Though I may sound kinda childish on my social networks and this blog, I’ve actually rid myself of most of my material ‘Kiddy Stuff’. All of my remaining categorical toys sit on two shelves in my room along w/ my books, DVD’s and CD’s and that’s far too little. I’ve given up pretty much all of my old Lego kits and blocks when I moved here and haven’t purchased any replacement kits because of the money suck that Lego blocks are to a guy like me, but I think this safe may get me to jump ship on that pattern. I love building stuff, I love thinking through concepts and I love being a kid at heart and I have a LOT of free time these days, you know, with the whole, “I have a disease and a lifestyle so erractic I can’t handle most normal occupations”, so I believe that this would be a nice little distraction of a project and a way to ease back into them Lego and the child I actually am, internally and externally. I dare you to block me from finishing this project. *rimshot*

Lego Combination Safe (Instructables)


Hip to Be Square

March 4, 2009

Did you feel mathy yesterday? No? Are you sure? Because yesterday was Square Root day, March 3rd, 2009. What is Square Root Day and how does it work? You take the number corresponding to the day and month, if both are identical numbers, then you multiply them to get your square number, if the square number equals the last two digits of the year (3×3=09) then there you have it, Square Root Day.  If you are reading this blog post today (march 4, 09), then I’m pretty sure you experienced Root Day 2009 (since most of the babies born in the last 24 hours can’t use the internet that well.)

Here are all the Square Root dates for this century.

  • Jan 1, 2001
  • Feb 2, 2004
  • March 3, 2009
  • April 4, 2016
  • May 5, 2025
  • June 6, 2036
  • July 7, 2049
  • August 8, 2056
  • September 9, 2081

The reason it ends at Sept. is because you don’t use the double digit months and days, you can only use the last two digits of the corresponding year according to preset parameters and double digit root numbers have only triple digit products. So sorry to Oct, Nov, and my birthday month December, no soup for you. Besides those months are purists, they had their heyday way way back. In fact, I was talking to my calendar just the other day and it said “Man, you should’ve been there on December 12, 144 AD, it was crazy. We partied at the Pantheon, there were Roman orgies and bitches everywhere and more wine than you can handle, that stiff Constantine wasn’t around yet, so we could let loose. Mars showed up and tried to start a fight, which is typical, Mars always starts fights. Leres and Janus guarded the door and the VIP section.  Jupiter was there, Neptune, Romy and Remus stopped by (bad table manners and all), but together we all had a ball. It’s really too bad you couldn’t have gone.” Then I beat my calendar’s ass for teasing me about the year 144AD and called his mother a cheap Casio. That calendar doesn’t fuck with me anymore. So anyway, I hope you had a good Square Root Day, only 2588 days until the next one (4/4/2016) and if that’s too long a wait, just remember that National Penis Humor Day happens every August 8, and if that isn’t more fun than a waterslide from outer space, I just don’t know what is.

You Are Here

February 26, 2009

Wanna feel insignificant? Walk outside and look straight up. If you see the sun, think about the fact that it is so far away, you are looking at the past, approx 8.3 minutes ago. You also need to think about the fact that light is the fastest traveling entity the we know of, period. Faster than your voice or your phone, internet connection, faster than anything we humans can observe. We as humans have killed the sound barrier in jets, simply murdered the speed of sound with current gen avionics and are as far away from light travel as Paris Hilton is from being a devout nun who dabbles in quantum physics and actual talent (you see what I did there, I called her a whore and stupid and talentless, nobody has ever done that, ever, I’m the first, I’m the best, don’t deny it, but don’t deny it silently, cause shut up!). So anyway our sun is so far away and I mean faaaaaaaaaaar away, yet so big and powerful that even it’s 8 minute old rays can permanently blind you in mere seconds (~27secs) if you look directly at it. See! Instant insignificance, you have just become less than an amoeba in size and distance comparison. Now, if you see the moon, that image only 3 seconds old, much closer, but still exponentially older than say the light from screen you’re reading. But if you see the stars, the light of the closest star (excl. our sun) is ~4.3 years old. Repeat, the closest star. Image not actual distance, just the light transmission, Four. Years. Old. and some are so far away, they’re not there anymore, they’ve disappeared millions of years ago and you’re just now seeing the light they emitted eons before the dinosaurs. But for those too lazy to actually walk outside and then expend the energy of bending your head backwards (I’m lazy too, I understand) you can look at these, some of my favorite images from space, showing where we as a planet really stand universally and not fully universally, just as far away as the camera could get and still capture the photo and transmit it back to our little blue planet.

1. Earthrise: This is actually the second version of Earthrise, taken by Williams Anders of the Apollo 8 mission back in 1968, the first was taken in black & white by his fellow crewmate and mission commander, Frank Borman, before Anders could find color film for this shot. It’s a beautifully stunning image and it also shows that size is relative, from our far smaller moon (remember it’s small enough that we drag it around us with the gravity our fat ass planet produces) our planet looks the size of…the moon. Oh, you’re also looking at it wrong, it was taken w/ a counter-clockwise 90 degrees orientation, but this way makes much more of an impact and an infinitely better picture right? (If you were as cool as me, you could rotate your LCD 360degrees for any orientation you please, but if your not a pompous assed nerd, you could stick it into any image program and rotate it, the feature is built into all Windows OSes since probably win98, oh I’ve also mad an ass out of myself because I just realized that when I rotate the screen it auto orients to it’s position, so I’d still see the Earth up top anyway…let’s just forget this all and move on.)

Houston, we have a picture.

Houston, we have a picture.

Earth and Moon: This is a compsite picture, the author’s intent is to show the true distance relation of the two bodies. The Earth and our Moon are 250,000 miles apart and you, the observer, are approx. 350,000 miles away in the view. See what I mean? It is just crazy to think about how far away those things out there really are. If you want to know what truly makes me a nerd, is that I am fascinated by these things. The perspective that one needs to have (or should have) to actually know your place in this planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, possibly multiverse, I wont even get into alt timelines/universe possibilities. But sometimes I am just awed by the size of it all, the fact that the 250,000 miles displayed here, might as well be a millimeter on the grand scale and it’s beautiful,

I'll race ya!

I'll race ya!

Pale Blue Dot: Finally, my flat out favorite space photo ever. When Voyager I had finished it’s planetary duties, and was sent towards the outskirts of our galaxy (it currently has passed our Termination Shock and is entering the Heliosheath), Carl Sagan suggested that the probe be turned toward us to take an image of Earth and the other planets, this is the result. You may say it looks like static or someone has gone wild with Photoshop’s noise filter and lens flares, but that little bright blue speck inside the middle of that brownish colored band on the far right, that is us, us from 3.7 to over 4 BILLION MILES! Our little dust spot of a planet. It sets me back a bit, because that photo was taken so very far away but still well inside our milky way. The photo was taken in 1990, 13 years after Voyager was launched along with it’s brother Voyager II (ironically launched 16 days before Voyager I, Alanis Morrissette take notes)

Pale Blue Dot

No, there will be no I can see my house from here joke. Try again. Maybe next time. (totally meta)

So yeah, we may be small, individually, but here’s the thing, those pictures, they were taken by us, WE did that and WE WILL do more, much more, so I guess it’s all about balance and since I can’t do it better, I’ll leave it off with a little script written by the man, Carl Sagan, speaking on the Pale Blue Dot image and what it means, but relating to all that I’ve added here.

“ Look again at that dot. That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every “superstar,” every “supreme leader,” every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.

It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”

edit: I hate to come back after Sagan, but after I “went to the presses”, I came across this pic in my blog links and this here is a beautiful picture of Saturn taken by the Cassini craft and that little thing in the upper left corner, that little cocky background disturber, that lil’ firecracker is us. That’s right, the lil’ blue marble strikes again, and this photo is nice and clean enough that it captured our natural satellite (we call it the moon), it’s that gaseous looking dusty bubble in the Earth’s upper left. Cassini is the only craft besides the Voyager I to catch Earth from such a distance (though much closer than Voyager’s opus) it even uses Saturn as a sun block so that, We the pebble, can get our deep space cameo, which makes this pic fit right in with the rest. Yay Earth!!

Saturn: "Fuckin' Earth! I'm trying to take a Facebook profile pic man, stop walking through my background! Lil' Bitch!"

Saturn: "Dammit Earth! I'm trying to take a Facebook profile pic man, stop walking through my background! Lil' Bitch!"

The World’s on Fire! A Primer

February 23, 2009

So, are you currently a resident of a certain country that has and is ruining it’s own economy and the rest of the world’s economy (I wont say which country by name, you know, for anonymity), but no one who should break it down (the crisis), dares to truly break it down because they’re the media and they’re retarded? THEN leave it to our wonderful world wide web (also run by that same country that’s ruining money…pretty much everywhere…except in oil producing areas). You see, I’ve hooked my twitter train to a bunch of famous tech peoples, mostly from my beloved ghost TechTV and one of my incoming tweets was linked to this site which explains the entire economic and credit crisis in an intelligent and concise way with just a hint of humor (especially in the caricatures). So I say, if you don’t know the deal after coming here, you cant say that I didn’t try to help. Also, here’s the video itself, in case you don’t feel like leaving the beautiful site I’ve set up here for you and sporadically and loosely maintain:

Omar Beach: Philanthropist By Proxy

December 17, 2008

If I ever wanted anyone to get involved in one of my posts and/or tell a friend about it, this would be it (for the moment).

Most of you who would read this know that I am not a Grade A, healthy specimen, I am what you would call flawed, in that I have a blood disease (But malaria can kiss my ass, cause I can’t get it). You would also know that I spend my fair share of time in the hospital (code named: vacationing), but you might not know that the amount of time I spend there now, doesn’t even closely compare to the amount of time I spent there as a child. Until about the age of 12, you could pretty much pencil me in for about a week’s stay, every month, if not more, with no exaggeration whatsoever. There was not a single staff member on the pediatrics floor of my home hospital(s) who didn’t know Omar or when he was in one of their beds (I have no idea why I’m writing in the third person). I was such a frequent flier that two hospitals in particular had specific toys that were “mine” when I was there (I was a navy brat, so I spent my youth in multiple states); One was an ET doll (which right now, I can’t tell you why I was so attached to it), the other, when I was a little older, was a Donkey Kong arcade machine. If you were in my ward at the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters in Virginia (where somewhere, I shit you not, is an actual television commercial that I was in, which aired all over VA, for years I’m told) and if you played the Donkey Kong machine, if I was able to get out of bed, you played me, again, no exaggeration, I basically sublet the toys out when I wasn’t in the hospital. So when I tell you that the children in those hospitals benefit from toys in hospitals, I tell you this with expert experience. So what I would like to do here is call attention to the Child’s Play charity. The Child’s Play charity was started by the duo behind the Penny Arcade internet comic. Its mission is simply to get toys to kids in hospitals. Penny Arcade (which is a hilarious comic) is basically a satire of Games and the Gaming universe by the 2 gamers who create it (writer Jerry Holkins and illustrator Mike Krahulik, Tycho and Gabe, respectively of the comic)  and while one of my reasons for loving this charity is apparent, the other is because, as a gamer, I love the idea of shitting on the external image of the gamer. We aren’t all 12 year olds, sitting on Xbox live throwing “fuck you faggggg” comments while playing Grand Theft Auto (but only because I don’t have my Xbox yet, it comes in the mail tomorrow). We are a broad spectrum of people, all ages, all races, all incomes, all lifestyles and looking at the $1 million raised this year alone so far, we are also, altruistic (oh yeah, I’m a wordsmith bitch). The charity couldn’t be easier to support either, I’ve done it a few times, I haven’t done it this year yet (but now that I’ve written this, I pretty much have to): You simply go to the website pick a hospital (unfortunately none of mine are on the ever growing list yet) and you get the hospital’s info and buy something(s) from their particular wish list, you can also donate cash to fund the organization as a whole (which is evenly distributed). It also isn’t very expensive either, I usually spend about $30 bucks for 2-4 toys. The lists aren’t completely extravagant. Sure, they might want a PS3 console (who wouldn’t), but they’d also like some books or DVDs or a cheap little doll or building blocks (do they still make building blocks?). I use, where the toys can be shipped directly to your hospital, I also tend to send a video game (they don’t necessarily need to be the newest or most expensive games). I buy games because they can be exceptional time wasters and distractors and that is one of the greatest weapons for children who are: hurting, scared, may not have their parents there all the time, terminal or just want to be home but can’t be. Regular kids don’t spend time in hospitals, so going can be quite hard on someone who has spent every night of their life in their own bed, near their parents, and regardless of their normalcy, no one wants to be there, but for the cost of a night at a bar or the movies, you can give a huge number of kids a huge number of hours of simple, mindless fun. As a child, when I could get out of the bed, even if I hurt, I would drag myself and my IV to that Donkey Kong game and for the hours that the play room was open, I wasn’t thinking of the fact that I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t be physically touched, I just wanted to save that chick and beat that monkey and keep my high score. To this day, I carry a bag, so ridiculously full of crap to the hospital, because I want to do everything to forget where I am; geographically and physically and mentally. I absolutely realize this post may be heavy handed and seems like Sally Struthers

Send the Kids Some Toys, I Promise Not to Eat Them (a S.Struthers fat joke, Im so damn original)

Send the Kids Some Toys, I Promise Not to Eat Them (a S.Struthers fat joke, I’m so damn original)

should pop up at any moment and I don’t plan to bring down the blog or try to guilt people into doing things they didn’t plan on doing on a regular basis and trust me, I know that right now especially, money isn’t growing on trees, but if you’ve got 5 or 10 bucks or whatever, I’d personally be grateful if you sent it to help some good kids in a place they’d rather not be. Thank You.


1Up or Overkill?

November 18, 2008

I hope that will be the cheesiest title I ever type up there, but deductive reasoning tells me that it won’t. It’s also not my biggest problem. I can’t decide if I love or hate this guy below.

Underneath this console are some huge balls.

Underneath this console are some huge balls.

That there is the boldest nerd on the planet, rocking the NesBelt, which I saw while perusing engadget and I really can’t decide what to think. This fucker is wearing an actual console around his waist as a belt and yes, it works! Look I’m all about geek pride if you got the balls, but when the pride promises that you’ll probably never ever ever ever use those balls again…if you’ve even had sex in the first place, I’m not so sure I love it. But on the other hand, I have to give him some credit. What kind? I’m not quite sure, but something, maybe a fist in the air holding a controller of solidarity? I dunno, I really don’t. Maybe start chanting the Konami code (up up down down….) I’ll tell you what I don’t like; They’re selling this belt on the net for 300 effin dollars, 300, yeah, like the movie, which may be appropriate considering that I’d massacre any friend I had who paid that much for a console glued to a stinking belt. Here’s a strategy:

1. Buy a belt

2. Buy a used Ninten……DON’T WEAR A FUCKING CONSOLE FOR A BELT! YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP CONTROLLERS AND GAMES HANDY TO KEEP IT TRULY CLEVER! DON’T YOU?! TELL ME WHERE YOU STORE THOSE ZELDA!? (sorry about the strategy list, something came up, these things happen. signed the Management.)

…Ok I think I’ve decided which side I’m on. You can decide where you are on this subject for yourselves.