I realize that should I proceed and build this, I will be nowhere in the neighborhood of Fort Knox level protection, but, as a guy who’s spent more than a couple bucks (possibly a couple thousand) and hours (possibly a couple krotillion) on Lego blocks and kits well into my adult life, I WANT THIS. I mean, it’s a damn Lego safe with working gears (not that Lego is foreign to complex working gear structures. I’ve hand built a few complex mechanisms while just freestyling builds -You should’ve seen the A-815 Battlehawk and the blueprints for the unbuilt A-822, both manufactured by the mysterious Drachius organization, James knows what I’m talking about. That plane was a monster. The Battlehawk had 4, Double-barreled, recoiling, pulse blasters, mounted on the underside of the airjet and a removable pilot’s pod-). So I love the idea of this safe and it does have a fair layer of protection, plus, it’s completely up Omar’s alley. Though I may sound kinda childish on my social networks and this blog, I’ve actually rid myself of most of my material ‘Kiddy Stuff’. All of my remaining categorical toys sit on two shelves in my room along w/ my books, DVD’s and CD’s and that’s far too little. I’ve given up pretty much all of my old Lego kits and blocks when I moved here and haven’t purchased any replacement kits because of the money suck that Lego blocks are to a guy like me, but I think this safe may get me to jump ship on that pattern. I love building stuff, I love thinking through concepts and I love being a kid at heart and I have a LOT of free time these days, you know, with the whole, “I have a disease and a lifestyle so erractic I can’t handle most normal occupations”, so I believe that this would be a nice little distraction of a project and a way to ease back into them Lego and the child I actually am, internally and externally. I dare you to block me from finishing this project. *rimshot*
Archive for the ‘Awesome’ category
Did you feel mathy yesterday? No? Are you sure? Because yesterday was Square Root day, March 3rd, 2009. What is Square Root Day and how does it work? You take the number corresponding to the day and month, if both are identical numbers, then you multiply them to get your square number, if the square number equals the last two digits of the year (3×3=09) then there you have it, Square Root Day. If you are reading this blog post today (march 4, 09), then I’m pretty sure you experienced Root Day 2009 (since most of the babies born in the last 24 hours can’t use the internet that well.)
Here are all the Square Root dates for this century.
- Jan 1, 2001
- Feb 2, 2004
- March 3, 2009
- April 4, 2016
- May 5, 2025
- June 6, 2036
- July 7, 2049
- August 8, 2056
- September 9, 2081
The reason it ends at Sept. is because you don’t use the double digit months and days, you can only use the last two digits of the corresponding year according to preset parameters and double digit root numbers have only triple digit products. So sorry to Oct, Nov, and my birthday month December, no soup for you. Besides those months are purists, they had their heyday way way back. In fact, I was talking to my calendar just the other day and it said “Man, you should’ve been there on December 12, 144 AD, it was crazy. We partied at the Pantheon, there were Roman orgies and bitches everywhere and more wine than you can handle, that stiff Constantine wasn’t around yet, so we could let loose. Mars showed up and tried to start a fight, which is typical, Mars always starts fights. Leres and Janus guarded the door and the VIP section. Jupiter was there, Neptune, Romy and Remus stopped by (bad table manners and all), but together we all had a ball. It’s really too bad you couldn’t have gone.” Then I beat my calendar’s ass for teasing me about the year 144AD and called his mother a cheap Casio. That calendar doesn’t fuck with me anymore. So anyway, I hope you had a good Square Root Day, only 2588 days until the next one (4/4/2016) and if that’s too long a wait, just remember that National Penis Humor Day happens every August 8, and if that isn’t more fun than a waterslide from outer space, I just don’t know what is.
I’ve been a big fan of stand up comedy for years. I’m not on the bleeding edge of comedy, because I’ve only been to one live show (Dave Chappelle’s [my favorite dude forever] Blackzilla Tour, and it was awesome without a doubt), but I do have a pretty comprehensive familiarity with those who have done televised stand up shows. I watch a lot of Comedy Central stand up and HBO, some Showtime, not really the late night shows, but if a guy has done 20+ minutes of material on TV there’s approx an 8 out of 10 chance that I have seen them at least once. One person, of which I’m a big fan, is getting a show on Comedy Central. His name is Demetri Martin and the show is called Important Things (w/ Demetri Martin). He has an original style, low key but sharp and clever, he seems to draw you in and make you comfortable, as if you were in his living room and he was telling you a couple stories, smart and flat out hilarious stories. He’s low tech, high sophistication and unless you specifically focus upon it, you’d never know he was doing it. He doesn’t just stand there and tell jokes, he has minor props (not like Carrot Top or anything), he has this big Presentation Pad that he uses for effect or a tape recorder and guitar (but he doesn’t sing and is surely not a cheesy, song based comic, it’s more like storytelling w/ background music, which works well for him). He uses them as a simple and entertaining juice to bring out more flavor in his jokes and you gonnah like-a de jooce. He just has an original style, on his Comedy Central presents episode, he actually brought his mom and grandmother on stage as part of his grand finale story/bit…and asked them for money (btw, they all look exactly alike, there was absolutely no doubt about direct lineage). For a while he had his own recurring segment on The Daily Show, called ‘Trendspotting’, he was even in last season’s finale on ‘Flight of the Conchords’ where he played the 4th Conchord and ultimately one of The Crazzy Dogggz, the storyline carried over until the new season that started last month (but he didn’t appear in the newer episode). All-in-all, I look forward to his new show “Important Things” debuting tonight, Wed. Feb, 11, 2008 @ 10pm and 1am (about 30 minutes from now ) and good luck to Demetri, I’ve been waiting for a good, new sketch show ever since Chappelle left, Carlos Mencia just never cut it for me, but if Demetri Martin is half as good as Dave and somewhat better than Mencia, I’ll be one of his bigger fans.
-Quotes From Demetri Martin’s Comedy Central Presents episode-
“I was making pancakes the other day and a fly comes into the kitchen and that’s when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly swatter and a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry…and a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.”
“A drunk driver is very dangerous, everybody knows that, but so is a drunk back seat driver….if he’s persuasive.”
“I was in a card store and they had cards that said ‘Get well soon.’ Fuck that. Get well now.”
Rantgent (Ranting Tangent): I also wish Lewis Black would’ve created a better vehicle with his show, because he’s way more talented than the show currently bearing his name (Lewis Black’s: Root of all Evil). Oh and also on LB:RoAE, you don’t get too much from Lewis Black which is kinda ironic. It mostly defers to the two “lawyers” who plead their case on what is the root of all evil and Lewis Black, as the “judge” in the show, only has a few humorous comments here and there, but there’s not a lot of substance coming directly from him during the show. He’s simply much funnier than his show, which is frustrating, because he is one of my top 10 comics and the show removes some of his comedic prestige as far as I’m concerned.
So I’m back home after a tremendous 4 day weekend of hanging with Jaqai, Valerie and Jay @ Jay & Val’s place and it was delicious (w/ minor upset). Oh, there were also no acts of god threatening our lives this time (unless you count it being ass cold outside) plus I’m alive to tell the tale, so that raises the status of the getaway significantly. Let’s see, Friday night, I went to my first live hockey game and it’s all it’s cracked up to be. I could follow the puck, the action and get into the game, it was almost a yawner as the visiting team went up 4-0 IN THE FIRST PERIOD!, but somehow the Atlanta Thrashers made it a game and came within a point in the 3rd period a couple times and threatened a tie a few times, but ultimately lost, still it was a pretty good game and A TON better than on TV, seriously, no comparison. We went to a bar ‘Stats’ where we had our own beer tap built into our table (2 actually), we played ‘perfect pour’ (pour a perfect 16 ounces), I sucked, surprise, I don’t really drink, beer especially. Again, a fun outing and that was Thursday. Friday was a kickback day, most everyone just worked in home from Jay’s, we played a little bit o’ Wii, pretty chill, at night we decided to watch Pineapple Express, I fell asleep, but woke up midway with pretty bad arm pain (I love my body), so I just did my medical particulars and crashed out for the night. I woke up feeling somewhat better the next day, at least able to partake in Saturday’s events, game night. Saturday, Jay planned a get together, we played Wii racing, Outburst and Taboo (that’s right, actual old school board games, always a fun time), I couldn’t/didn’t drink too much, but still everyone seemed to live it up. Sunday was Super Bowl Sunday, a few of Saturday’s guests showed up as well, Jay busted out ribs and chicken on the grill, guests rounded out some potluck additions, highlights being Jill’s mac and cheese & Curtis’s lemon cake amongst others (not to disclude anybody <actual word this time, but kinda obselete). We all watched the game which ended being better than I’d predicted plus we did the usual commercial watching and grading, and we bitched about Pittsburgh’s alleged win (seriously refs wtf? seriously), but Arizona came back with valiance to take the lead in what I thought was going to be a great comeback win, but not so. We dawdled a little bit after the game but after that it was time to get back home. It was great that Jaqai decided to come down to Atlanta for the long weekend and hang and Jay and Valerie are probably the best hosts ever, seriously, I think Jay was an event calendar in his former life. They know the city well and roll with good company, so stupid arm pain aside, it’s always fun for me. Thanks guys.
ps: I brought my camera but I didn’t whip it out at all (I’m just not that guy that often, I should be, but I don’t do it when I should), Jaqai did record some visual documentation and I’ll try to get some so you can see how we roll in the A.We’ll see.
Coming into this weekend I had my usual excitement of the sporting events in which my teams were involved. When I say excitement, I wouldn’t say it was pure elation, it was just sort of a “this could be fun” type of feeling. But little did I know that I would be blindsided on how well it would end up for me come Sunday night. The three teams I looked forward to watching all had bad outings in their previous week and a couple were on a bad losing streak, but all those streaks would end on Saturday or Sunday and just like the best boxes of cereal, the sweetness came with a nice free prize.
San Diego State Aztecs vs. UC Santa Barbara: I’m a big fan of the red and black and of all the teams I’m loyal to (New York Giants, NY Mets, NY Knicks, Syracuse Orange and The Aztecs) the Aztecs are the team with which I’ve been most physically active. Not that I don’t love my other teams equally, but geographically mostly, it was easier to support them live. I’ve been on multiple road trips to see them, I’ve been to Arizona, Oakland, and Vegas in particular quite a few times. San Diego State has had a good season this year, but their last two games were losses to really good teams (Arizona & St. Mary’s), teams that could make or break a NCAA post season bid, so a win was imperative against UCSB and would keep State from losing their 4th game of the season. I didn’t get to see it on TV, but I listened to it on the internet while I chatted w/ other Aztec faithful on the Aztectalk message boards. The game was sloppy, but SDSU had a good run to end the 1st half and when they came back out for the 2nd they held their composure and walked out with a double digit win. It’s a good start to my sports weekend.
#11Syracuse Orange @ #21Memphis Tigers: Syracuse has come out big this season with wins over #18 Florida and #21 Kansas and were perfect for 9 games until they were extremely shocked by taking a loss from relative unknown Cleveland State (I don’t even know their mascot). The two teams were tied and 69, but Cleveland State got the ball back with less than 5 secs in the game, tossed up a 3-quarter court shot and dropped it in the basket to hand my Orange a devastating loss in their home building, the spectacular Carrier Dome. In the next game, the ‘Cuse rebounded against a less than stellar Canisius to go 9-1, but the real matchup wouldn’t be until yesterday when they travelled to Memphis to play against the Tigers who played in last year’s NCAA Championship against Kansas (yep, the Kansas that Syracuse beat earlier this season). The matchup was pretty good and Memphis played well and had the lead for a good portion of the game, but after coming out cold in the second half, The Orange turned it up in the last 6 mins. or so and came out of the building from beating a 3rd ranked team this season. The Big East Division is hands down the best conference in college ball this season, They occupy almost a full 1/3 of the college top 25 (8) and almost half of the top 15, predictions say The Big East will likely send an unprecedented 8 teams or more to the NCAAs, so out-of-conference wins like these are going to be crucial to getting into the Big Dance and getting a really good seed, because once the Big East starts playing in-conference, they’re probably going to eat themselves alive and SU will need these big big wins. This win also has a good chance of bumping The Orange into the top 10, this weekend is getting good.
New York Giants vs Carolina Panthers: My hometown team stunned the Planet Earth earlier this year when they, the 5th seed in the NFC, beat the previously undefeated New England Patriots in the Super Bowl, but when they came out and went 11-1 through through the end of November, people’s jaws hit the floor. The Giants were hailed as the best team in the NFL, with wins over Dallas, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Philly, and a sweep of Washington, they looked like they couldn’t be stopped…until they were stopped. The Giants had two big problems, they lost both their #1 receiver Plaxico Burress and #1 running back Brandon Jacobs and without these two, they lost to both Philly and Dallas. So this Sunday Night, The New York Giants would meet up with the other 11-3 team in the NFC, The Carolina Panthers and the winner would be guaranteed the #1 seed and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. The ramifications were huge, Carolina was not only playing for home field; if they lost, The Atlanta Falcons would have a chance to win in week 17 and take over the top spot in that division. The Giants needed this to prove who they still are, not only to the other teams but to themselves. This matchup was big and the game would not disappoint. The Giants had Jacobs back, but in the first half it didn’t look like it would matter. Carolina came out big, their running back had 3 touchdowns in the first half and the Giants worked extremely hard to earn their 13 points in the half which ended 21-13 Carolina. In the second half early, The Giants managed to get to Carolina 4 where Kevin Boss caught a Touchdown to bring the game to 20-21 as the Giants only went for 1 pt (and beat me in fantasy for 5th place on the season. Can’t win em all). With the Giants in striking distance and hopes high, De’angelo Williams ran for a 4th TD on the night which let the air out on me, but the Giants managed to work it back down, Eli Started moving the ball like he was earlier in the season and they get a TD but have to go for 2 this late in the game and they succeeded and after a few plays a big missed 51yd Field Goal by the Panthers, the game goes into Overtime. At this point I am crazy tense, the same tension I held last playoff season in that great Green Bay game and the Dallas win, a win in this game is as big as you can get in the regular season and to take it to overtime in the fashion they did, makes it even better. The two teams each had a possession in sudden death OT, but neither capitalized, on the third possession of OT, Derrick Ward, another of the 3 headed NY running attack busts two enormous and crucial runs to get the G into the red zone and eventually to the 1 yard line and at that point they gave it to the big fella, Brandon Jacobs. Jacobs goes middle and gains 1 yard, 1 TD, 1 win, 1 home field advantage and the #1 seed for the 2008-09 season. A lot of sports people (even myself a bit) started asking if New York was done, never mind that NY still had the second best record and are the reigning champions and folks started writing off a team that had only 3 losses, but I guess last night was their big statement, telling people to calm the fuck down. Their record last season wasn’t even close to this season and we know how that ended, so now, they’ve shown they can beat the best in the AFC and NFC and I think they’re ready for the playoffs. It was a good day.
But Wait, There’s More!: Every year I do two NFL pools, one is called Survivor, the other is called ’33’ and it is run by my boy Jasen. The point of 33 is to have your randomly assigned team score a total of 33 points in a game, no more, no less. It sounds easy enough, but 33 is actually a fairly rare score in the NFL, you have to go through an odd set of scores to end up with it and it’s seen maybe 2-4 times a season. There is a rolling jackpot until someone hits 33, then you start over again. Last night, after listening to the SDSU game, watching BYU play ASU, then watching the Syracuse game, I decide to geek out and watch some Science channel. In the middle of my show, I get a text from Jasen who tells me to turn on football (I’d actually forgotten the game was on last night) , so I flip over and with about two minutes left in the game, Dallas was playing the Baltimore Ravens, The Ravens have a score of 33 and I have The Ravens as my 33 team. The Ravens close out the game with that number, so lady luck smiles on me w/ a three week rollover Jackpot of $225. This weekend was fantastic sportswise, I didn’t expect much, I wanted my teams to do well and they all prospered, I got everything I could’ve asked for and received even more. Maybe it was karma or an early Xmas/Birthday present, The butterfly effect or chaos theory, maybe it’s just plain statistics and probabilities or synchronicity or whatever, but I like it. As the creator of Planet A, I wanted sports, I got sports and sports were good. Best. Sports! Weekend! Evar!
If I ever wanted anyone to get involved in one of my posts and/or tell a friend about it, this would be it (for the moment).
Most of you who would read this know that I am not a Grade A, healthy specimen, I am what you would call flawed, in that I have a blood disease (But malaria can kiss my ass, cause I can’t get it). You would also know that I spend my fair share of time in the hospital (code named: vacationing), but you might not know that the amount of time I spend there now, doesn’t even closely compare to the amount of time I spent there as a child. Until about the age of 12, you could pretty much pencil me in for about a week’s stay, every month, if not more, with no exaggeration whatsoever. There was not a single staff member on the pediatrics floor of my home hospital(s) who didn’t know Omar or when he was in one of their beds (I have no idea why I’m writing in the third person). I was such a frequent flier that two hospitals in particular had specific toys that were “mine” when I was there (I was a navy brat, so I spent my youth in multiple states); One was an ET doll (which right now, I can’t tell you why I was so attached to it), the other, when I was a little older, was a Donkey Kong arcade machine. If you were in my ward at the Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters in Virginia (where somewhere, I shit you not, is an actual television commercial that I was in, which aired all over VA, for years I’m told) and if you played the Donkey Kong machine, if I was able to get out of bed, you played me, again, no exaggeration, I basically sublet the toys out when I wasn’t in the hospital. So when I tell you that the children in those hospitals benefit from toys in hospitals, I tell you this with expert experience. So what I would like to do here is call attention to the Child’s Play charity. The Child’s Play charity was started by the duo behind the Penny Arcade internet comic. Its mission is simply to get toys to kids in hospitals. Penny Arcade (which is a hilarious comic) is basically a satire of Games and the Gaming universe by the 2 gamers who create it (writer Jerry Holkins and illustrator Mike Krahulik, Tycho and Gabe, respectively of the comic) and while one of my reasons for loving this charity is apparent, the other is because, as a gamer, I love the idea of shitting on the external image of the gamer. We aren’t all 12 year olds, sitting on Xbox live throwing “fuck you faggggg” comments while playing Grand Theft Auto (but only because I don’t have my Xbox yet, it comes in the mail tomorrow). We are a broad spectrum of people, all ages, all races, all incomes, all lifestyles and looking at the $1 million raised this year alone so far, we are also, altruistic (oh yeah, I’m a wordsmith bitch). The charity couldn’t be easier to support either, I’ve done it a few times, I haven’t done it this year yet (but now that I’ve written this, I pretty much have to): You simply go to the website http://www.childsplaycharity.org/ pick a hospital (unfortunately none of mine are on the ever growing list yet) and you get the hospital’s info and buy something(s) from their particular wish list, you can also donate cash to fund the organization as a whole (which is evenly distributed). It also isn’t very expensive either, I usually spend about $30 bucks for 2-4 toys. The lists aren’t completely extravagant. Sure, they might want a PS3 console (who wouldn’t), but they’d also like some books or DVDs or a cheap little doll or building blocks (do they still make building blocks?). I use amazon.com, where the toys can be shipped directly to your hospital, I also tend to send a video game (they don’t necessarily need to be the newest or most expensive games). I buy games because they can be exceptional time wasters and distractors and that is one of the greatest weapons for children who are: hurting, scared, may not have their parents there all the time, terminal or just want to be home but can’t be. Regular kids don’t spend time in hospitals, so going can be quite hard on someone who has spent every night of their life in their own bed, near their parents, and regardless of their normalcy, no one wants to be there, but for the cost of a night at a bar or the movies, you can give a huge number of kids a huge number of hours of simple, mindless fun. As a child, when I could get out of the bed, even if I hurt, I would drag myself and my IV to that Donkey Kong game and for the hours that the play room was open, I wasn’t thinking of the fact that I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t be physically touched, I just wanted to save that chick and beat that monkey and keep my high score. To this day, I carry a bag, so ridiculously full of crap to the hospital, because I want to do everything to forget where I am; geographically and physically and mentally. I absolutely realize this post may be heavy handed and seems like Sally Struthers
should pop up at any moment and I don’t plan to bring down the blog or try to guilt people into doing things they didn’t plan on doing on a regular basis and trust me, I know that right now especially, money isn’t growing on trees, but if you’ve got 5 or 10 bucks or whatever, I’d personally be grateful if you sent it to help some good kids in a place they’d rather not be. Thank You.
In the Year Two-Thousaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand (Eight), In the Year Two-Thousaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand (Eight)…..December 8, 2008
2008, so distant, so far away, so foreign, mystical and so unknowable to any of us. Travel with me as we peer 40 years into the future to see what it’ll be like in the year 2008 AD.
Translation: A while ago, I was on someone elses’ site, where I found this most intensely interesting article, taken from a scientific magazine called, Mechanix Illustrated, from 1968, where they do the ol’ “let’s look into the future” thingy thing and I felt that today, since everyone is going to start putting up their Best of ’08 lists and do their look backs, this would be a good time to post this article and we can look back and forward at the same time (trippy huh?) Plus I haven’t posted anything for a week or two so I figured this would be a good mini-reboot. The article is extremely interesting in how much they got right and, for the most part, the things they got wrong are for reasons that really couldn’t be foreseen at the time. Societal shortcomings or just plain logistics couldn’t be accounted for in ’68. One of the interesting thoughts I come away from the article is that we, as a whole, seemed to have slowed in our creation of life sweeping inventions, I’m talking inventions that change everything for everyone. The last big things have to be the cell phone and the internet, neither are from this millenium. The first cell network was implemented in the 70’s. The internet (ARPAnet) was connected in 1969 and the World Wide Web began in the late 80’s. Yo, the web , is almost 20 yrs old (not the internet, which is way older. Man, I just got that ‘I’m old’ feeling). But If you think about the middle of the last century, they have space travel, computers, satelites, playboy magazine (what? who said that?…the articles?…), supersonic transport, Rock and Roll music, etc, etc. We need the next big thing to come, OUR big thing that we can clearly stamp our name on as completely original and no one can take it away. But while I work on that, let’s all jump into this Delorean of an article and head, Back to the Future, “I think he took your wallet! I think he took his wallet.”
- This is from a magazine, so it is formatted as such, therefore, you may have to skip a section on some pages because they’re from another article.
- Come on, look at those drawings, classic. You have to love some of the artistry of those old magazines, even a utilitarian one such as this. It’s pretty cool to see how art was done before digitally aided graphics, so interesting, stylistic and meticulous.
- The terminology in here is fantastic: Electram, Modemizer, Climatizer’ It’s all so retro futuristic. It really screams “Jetsons”. It’s funny compared to the terminology we use for things. Theirs’ is to give a description of the function while “futurizing” it, we on the other hand try to characterize our stuff (The Breeze, The Storm, The Chevy Envoy) or make it sound more important than it is (XBox 360 Entertainment Console, Personal Digital Assistant, Personal Grooming System, Smartphone). Come on man, I know what that is, it’s a game machine, a address book, some clippers and a phone w a PDA attached (see #2). I kinda like their way better, they don’t seem to be trying to shit you as much, well maybe they are, but somehow the nostalgia of it makes it seem more innocent.
- Check out some of those ads, they’re pretty interesting and some are scary, but most of all, it is good to know that even in the late sixties, they had get rich quick schemes, they just didn’t come on at 2am on channel 224. I wonder if they had Girls Gone Wild and Extenze ads too?
- I have to thank the site http://blog.modernmechanix.com/, because I basically plagiarized their article and used it for my own purposes, but come on, something this good, I have to share with my 2-3 readers. I will probably also be stealing stuff from them in the future, so if you see an article kinda like this one, it probably originated there. Your comments would tell me if I should.
- And now, the Article: